Who Knew
by Tysoyo Kalli
Summary: Its been a year since his death, but the pain is still a terrible ache in Dee's heart.


Warnings: Death; Mild angst; shounen-ai...

Title: Who Knew

Summary: Its been a year since his death, but the pain is still a terrible ache in Dee's heart.

Notes: I dunno were I'm going with this. Review? If so I might get my muse Miguel working.

Thanks: couldn't resist My beta! One loves you Obscured Illusions! Sankyuu!!

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I could see him there. Right in front of me. Sitting in his chair right where this new partner, Jody, is. He'd have his tongue pressed between his lips, head cocked to the side, bent over studing the file. I'm smiling. I could see him so clearly.

Today would be a suit. That nice tan one he has. He'd probably notice my stare, look up and just... smile at me. So sweetly. Teasingly.

I can see him there, every single detail. How his right eye closes a little when he smiles. How his cheeks would turn a light red color. How his clothes would fold. The shadows covering his frame. The sharp tie, one that actually looked professional.

It hits me, lost in my little daydream. Why isn't he here? Why is this new guy here instead of my Ryo?

Right... memory returns, taking that little piece of heaven with it. Its been over a year now. Funny how god gets his shits and giggles isn't it?

He made sure that Ryo would die, just right after we _finally_ made it. When we finally actually produced such a perfect relationship. And oh, if I just close my eyes and for another five minutes my beautiful Ryo could be there. Not this... Jody person. Ryo... he'd still be over those papers, staring at that case file. About to look up at me, to smile just for me!

But I resist. I am at work. And as I stare blankly at this new person, trying to pay attention. Trying NOT to see my Ryo, trying to listen to this guy's voice that isn't my Ryo.

The whole thing was sudden. How it just suddenly became apparent that he wasn't well. It hurt to watch him fade. He was such a proud guy after all. And for him to be beaten by a stupid little disease, it hurt. Who knew he wouldn't be able to fight it? Who knew he wouldn't make a full recovery? Whe the fuck knew anything?!

Who knew we wouldn't have forever....

"Laytner!"

I blink, looking up at Jody. Yes. Work. Talking. Partner. New case. Should really, really pay attention...

Oh god I miss him soo much....

( --------------------- )

"Laytner, what the hell is your problem?! You're always in a dream land now, and thats bad for your job! You _have_ to have your full attention stationed on what you are doing, not off in lala land!" The Chief showered me with his words. Though not cold, there was a calculating assumption in them.

He understood somewhat, at least I had thought he did. But I guess Jody had launched another report of my laziness. But right now, all that there was... was nothing.

I had nothing, really, to look forward to- besides a monkey I had somehow adopted after his 'father' died. It never really mattered how close they were. I sigh, and just stare blankly at the chief.

Ryo was one of his favorites. Everyone knew that. Hell, everyone loved him. He was so easy to love. He understood things better than most, and he knew how to do his job well. Not to say that I _don't_; I just don't like the paperwork that goes with a good job.

"Detective Rice informed me again, that you've been playin' space cadet for the past two weeks! I know its a hard ass time but do _not_ slack off here! You hear me Dee?! I swear to GOD I'll fire your ass if you keep this up!"

I just nod my head. His words, I could feel them, going through one ear and out the other. It was a sad experience in some respects. Though I've never listened to him before, sometimes I felt the need to.

I could feel his eyes on me, judging me in that shrewd way he gets, sometimes. I blink at him. "Dee..." He starts, voice suddenly taking on a softened, somewhat sympathetic tone, "Go home and rest. You need it." And then he shooed me out of his office.

Jody looked up at me, eyes questioning me about my existence in the force. I shoot him a glare. Not that that boy wouldn't understand, I just don't think he grasps the concept he's trying to replace not just my partner, by my lover as well.

So off to home I go. I can't even remember driving back there, or unlocking the door.

I just remember walking into the quiet apartment, turning on one light, and just looking around.

I fell to my knees, and cried.


End file.
